you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
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I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
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why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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