I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize