I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize