Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
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i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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