and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
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My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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