Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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