You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
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Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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