I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize