whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
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I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
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My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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