Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
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I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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