it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize