i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize