She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize