please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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