Are we in a gay sports bar?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize