She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize