Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize