I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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