Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
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I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
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im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Is Oprah even human
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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