Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize