wake up i wanna do it froggy style
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
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Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
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I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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