Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
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He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
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I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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