This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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