this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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