Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(940): View more from Texas

I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.

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(940): I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you. http://tfl.nu/qbhx

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(309): View more from Illinois

I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.

(309): View more from Illinois

"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.

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(309): I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head. (309): "I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night. http://tfl.nu/9065

Replies (62) Good night (8909) Bad night (783)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people

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(267): Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people http://tfl.nu/f8ee

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(513): View more from Ohio

You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.

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(513): You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/utqj

Replies (35) Good night (8162) Bad night (1238) Order T-Shirt
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(843): View more from South Carolina

when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.

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(843): when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home. http://tfl.nu/096s

Replies (33) Good night (12095) Bad night (1203)
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(530): View more from California

I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.

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(530): I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon. http://tfl.nu/vb88

Replies (13) Good night (5028) Bad night (986) Order T-Shirt
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(606): View more from Kentucky

he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.

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(606): he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman. http://tfl.nu/lhzg

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(309): View more from Illinois

with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.

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(309): with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone. http://tfl.nu/1pr2

Replies (9) Good night (4016) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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(615): View more from Tennessee

The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.

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(615): The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment. http://tfl.nu/6ofo

Replies (7) Good night (1968) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.

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(908): Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas. http://tfl.nu/cnc6

Replies (13) Good night (3159) Bad night (531) Order T-Shirt
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(631): View more from New York

We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts

(1-631): View more from New York

Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?

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(631): We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts (1-631): Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships? http://tfl.nu/5hoq

Replies (19) Good night (1992) Bad night (1252)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.

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(724): Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful. http://tfl.nu/ytjz

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(219): View more from Indiana

LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS

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(219): LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS http://tfl.nu/75f7

Replies (16) Good night (566) Bad night (2343) Order T-Shirt
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(336): View more from North Carolina

You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.

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(336): You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens. http://tfl.nu/3z5p

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...

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(405): I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes... (918): Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly... http://tfl.nu/fe10

Replies (8) Good night (972) Bad night (222)

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