hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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