there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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