Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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