Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with two different species that night
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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