u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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