I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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