he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
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some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
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Come back. Shots need mouths.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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