C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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