But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize