God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
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He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just want to make out with him forever
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FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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