and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize