matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I looked at my own cervix.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
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I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
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Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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