I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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