She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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