the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize