When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
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why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
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Im part way to drunk.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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