Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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