She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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