too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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