I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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