p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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