last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
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So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
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trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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