my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize