Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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