Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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