i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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